We all want to make the right impression on our first dates – after all, aren’t we all aspiring for date number 2 – so feeling confident in your body and your appearance is important.

However for many of you, once you have secured this first date, fear and doubt begins to set in. You begin to question yourself, your appearance and why they like you, and ultimately arrive at your date feeling insecure about the future.

To help you experience the confidence you deserve, below we have listed our top 5 tips to feeling great, so you can approach your date rest assured that you will experience success.

1. Be relaxed

It is only natural to feel nervous on a date. It is your first real chance to get to know one another, and of course you want them to like you.

To help control your nerves just take a few deep breaths, and try to pretend that you are with your friends. By doing so you will begin to feel calm and relaxed, and conversation will come more easily.

If you are often prone to nerves though, try thinking of different topics you can talk about prior to going on your date. By practising your answers before you meet, you can feel confident that you won’t make any mistakes in your answers, and will instantly put your date at ease.

Simply pick subjects which you can both easily talk about and have fun!

2. Be confident

Confidence is simply a state of mind; of believing that everything is going to be okay and putting your thoughts into action.

So take a deep breath and say to yourself ‘this date is going to be a success; this date is going to be a success; this date is going to be a success’. With this mantra always on hand to guide you, all this positive thinking will eventually leak into your actions and leave you feeling confident about your date.

3. Act interested

It is easy to let our nerves get the better of us on a date. But by making sure that you keep the conversation moving; the questions flowing and avoid periods of silence; this banter will eventually begin to feel natural and you will both find yourselves feeling at ease with one another.

Remember, they are probably just as nervous as you, so act interested and the rest will naturally follow.

4. Be who you want to be

We have all felt self-conscious about our bodies at some point on our dates. From feeling overly aware of the excess lbs around our stomachs and thighs, to feeling uncomfortable in the way our clothes fit; our lack of confidence can often translate into the way we present ourselves on our dates.

To help you slip into your favourite sexy dress with ease and feel great about your body, try taking a natural appetite suppressant such as Proactol™.

With Proactol™’s support you can lose a steady 1-2lbs a week and go on your date feeling rest assured that you look and feel fantastic.

For more information about Proactol™, and how it can help you to become the person you have always wanted to be, visit www.proactol.com.

5. Be Yourself

Last of all, just be yourself. There is no point trying to be someone you’re not. This will only go on to work against you later, and will cause you to make mistakes

Simply be yourself and remember that your date said yes to the idea of dating the real you, not a fictional character.

So give these tips a try and begin feeling the difference of a happier, more confident you.

Blind dating is a legitimate way to meet people, but there are a few things to consider before you go into it. First of all, who is making the arrangements? How well do you know this person? How responsible is he or she? How much does he know about your prospective dating partner?
If there is any uncertainty about the blind date, it may be best to decline with thanks or suggest some safe dating situation. You might, for instance, suggest an informal party with several other couples you know. Perhaps your church group is having an outing to which the blind date might be invited as your guest. In blind dating, a good principle is: Take advantage of opportunities, but provide safeguards.

Off Limits

If you’re going out with a boy or girl whom you don’t know well, it’s best to avoid public places the first time. In fact, even if you know your date well, some public places are just not suitable for young people. Many public dance halls, for instance, draw an unscrupulous crowd of people who could cause a difficult situation for you and your date. Bars and roadside taverns have people in them occasionally who might cause trouble. Roaming the streets with or without an escort is risky in certain parts of town.
Likewise, people you meet in public places are rarely suitable dating prospects. Those boys sitting behind you and your girl friends in the movies might quite possibly be nice, but they might also turn out to be roughnecks. It’s much better to ignore them than to take a chance. The boy who cuts in at a community dance may look cute, but he might be more than you can handle if you let him take you home without finding out about him first. As a general rule, it’s safer to stay with people you know or have met through suitable channels.

Pickups

Pickups are risky. It may seem adventurous to stand on a corner and pick up a likely-looking person, but it can be dangerous. The papers are filled with unhappy, sometimes tragic, incidents of teen-agers who took such wild chances. People who use the pickup system are those who for some reason cannot use the ordinary channels for meeting people.
Boys sometimes congregate on corners to whistle at passing girls. It may feel good to be whistled at, but unless you know the boys, it’s not wise to encourage them. Many fellows feel that an easy pickup is “fast,” or else she wouldn’t be out looking for a date in that fashion.
This is not just a matter of concern to girls. Boys too can be exploited by unscrupulous women whom they pick up. There are less risky ways of getting dates than picking them up on street comers.

Safe and Sane

If you want a safe place to meet people—and a place that promises wholesome fun—first look toward your church. Many churches have young people’s programs with activities designed to help you make and keep friends of both sexes. People you meet in a church group are generally the kind who are responsible and respectable.

Community centers, YMCAs, YWCAs, USOs, and neighborhood clubs provide all kinds of interesting programs for teen-agers and young adults. If you want more friends, explore some of your local resources and before you know it you’ll be deep in activity.

There are interlocking reasons why some teen-agers start having dates at earlier ages than do others. Such factors as these are all interrelated: (1) how their parents feel about early dating; (2) how ready the boy or girl is for dating; (3) how much social experience a young person has had; and (4) how many social opportunities there are open to a given age and social set.

The Folks at Home

Parents who are socially active themselves tend to encourage their sons and daughters to participate in social events from early ages. They arrange mixed parties for their children, send them to dancing classes, buy them the proper clothes for various occasions, and in every way they can, urge them into social situations. The Purdue Poll finding that dating starts earlier in higher socioeconomic groups is understandable. Young people whose parents are socially active have the opportunity to socialize freely from childhood onward. They are acquainted with the children of their parents’ friends long before they reach their teens. They are involved with neighbors, church, and community activities. Their parents expect this—they urge their children into the social life of the community so that they will eventually take then-place in their social circles.

Ambitious middle-class parents more often want their sons and daughters to pay attention to school work and vocational goals before they get distracted by dating. Families with a different socioeconomic background and outlook, on the other hand, expect their children to get jobs as soon as they can and help out at home even before school graduation.
So it is easy to see how such widely different dating habits exist. Some teen-agers are pressured into dates early by then-families, and others are pressured by parents into postponing dates as long as possible.

At Your Own Pace

Of course, some teen-agers are ready for dates before others are. They simply mature earlier. The boy who shoots up tall and manly in his early teens is ready for dates before the “shorty” in his class. The girl who develops early so that she fills a strapless evening gown gracefully is datable at a time when her schoolmates are still looking and behaving like little girls.

The late-maturing boy or girl is just not as interested in the other sex and consequently not as interesting as a dating partner either. But the time will come when the slower-developing youngsters of both sexes catch up. Such a “late-bloomer” should be reassured that there is nothing wrong with maturing late. In fact, there are advantages. The girl who doesn’t go “boy-crazy” has opportunities to develop lasting intellectual and cultural interests, to make close friends among other girls, to excel in some skill or art. Certainly the late-maturing youngster need not feel “queer.” For a boy, this “breathing spell” between childhood and manhood is an opportunity to get a good start on vocational training, to develop meaningful hobbies, and even to enjoy his family more than is possible for the precocious lad who spends so much of his time and energy on dates. Even so, the late-maturing girl or boy may feel out of things for a while simply because he or she is not personally ready for dates yet.

Most teen-agers would like to be popular if they could. But many are baffled as to just what it takes to achieve popularity, or even to get a date. Knowing that is generally considered attractive to the opposite sex helps. Also understanding what boys expect of girls and what girls expect of boys in a given community is especially important.

In general young people like members of the other sex who are (1) careful of their personal appearance; (2) courteous and thoughtful; and (3) fun to be with.

A girl doesn’t have to be a beauty to get a date. She just has to dress appropriately, be neat and well groomed, and then try to forget her appearance. The same goes for a boy. If he’s clean and neat (hair combed, fresh shirt, nails clean) he’s acceptable, and probably attractive to someone.
Courtesy is mentioned frequently by both boys and girls as a desirable quality in a date. Actually, being courteous is just being thoughtful of others; it’s easy to get the habit. Sometimes a young person grows up in a family that is careless or casual about little courtesies, and he has to learn not to speak when someone else is talking, not to talk with a mouth full of food. If you keep your voice low and pleasant, say “Thank you” and “Excuse me” at appropriate times, it makes a pleasant impression on new and old friends. Some schools have special courses in social arts where students get opportunities for practicing those graces that make getting along with others easy. Books, articles, and lectures also help to give boys and girls an idea of what kind of behavior is expected of them when they begin to have dates.

When you say “Ted is such fun to be with!” do you know why? Do you realize it takes practice to become a “fun person”? It involves some rather complicated skills—knowing how to carry on a conversation, knowing how to enter a group pleasantly, being able to accept and refuse invitations graciously, assuming responsibility for one’s part in the group activity, and generally making others glad that you’re there. Most boys and girls are awkward in group situations at first. But as they gain experience, first in simple situations with .^others who know and like them, they get over being self-conscious. Soon they become so poised that they feel at home in most social situations. But this takes time and experience —lots of it.

It is no accident that boys and girls who have belonged to clubs and organizations get along more easily with people than do those who have grown up somewhat isolated. Being a member of a group not only gives you experience in planning and making decisions with others, in carrying responsibility for your part in a project, but it also introduces you to a variety of human situations and human beings. You begin to learn how the next guy “ticks.”

If you want to be more acceptable to the other sex, then you ought to get into group activities with other young people of both sexes. Mingling with a mixed group will ready you for dating and develop those skills which will help you carry off a date successfully.

Many high school and college girls complain that the boys they know have no time for girls. And it is true that there are serious-minded boys of all ages who are so absorbed in school work, hobbies, or plans for the future that they pay little or no attention to girls. A fellow with his mind on the future, busily weighing the pros and cons of business versus the professions, considering whether college or military training should come first, seemingly cannot further complicate his life with a girl. And before he knows it he has a reputation as a “woman hater.”

There are young men so absorbed in work or study that they can talk about nothing else. Girls complain that such a man is a bore—that he never seems to notice them or their interests, that he’s unwilling to do anything to cultivate a friendship. This kind of self-absorbed boy who is essentially nice often misses out on the friendship of a suitable girl and then falls prey to an unscrupulous one who plays upon his central interest to make an insincere place for herself in his life.

Some boys and girls who appear to be devoted to an absorbing interest actually are afraid of members of the other sex, and use their interest as an excuse to avoid contact with them. A girl who doesn’t want to be too obvious in her datelessness may feign busyness or an intense interest in music or her family, for instance, to cover up for her lack of boy friends. Similarly, a boy’s interest in planes, electronics, sports, or what-have-you may, in reality, be masking his fear of being unable to win and hold a girl’s attention. Such boys and girls would do well to face up to the truth, and, with the help of a wise counselor or good friend, change their ways to catch up on some wholesome dating fun.

Some young people have intellectual, aesthetic, or spiritual interests during high school which are just enough out of step with the majority of their age and grade so that they don’t find their associates congenial until they get into college or university life. These are the fellows and girls whose abilities seem to overshadow their personalities in their early development. They “come out” as interesting persons as they find themselves, but as teens they are discouraging both to themselves and to those who care about them. The important thing to remember is that social development and maturity cannot be rushed, and that eventually most young people find their proper social niche.

Not Ready to Date?

It’s a good idea to investigate the reason why a particular individual is slow to get started dating. Is he shy and bashful? Then maybe he needs encouragement in getting social experience; maybe he or she needs to be drawn into a group activity as a starter.

Is the person an outsider because of interests and dreams that are not shared by his contemporaries? Then he needs further to develop his unique personality, confident that congenial companions will be available beyond high school or even college.

Some young people have been so hurt in the process of growing up that they may need special help to straighten out. They must be made to realize that they have within them the potentialities of becoming wholesome, happy persons. Special counselors, psychological services, and guidance facilities, can help this kind of unhappy young person; and those who are concerned with his happiness should be carefully guide him in that direction.