by Agony Paul

Here is a letter than one of our visitors sent. I have changed his name to protect them. I have no idea why he put is real name on it, maybe he really does like abuse. We only publish letters with your permission guys. If you do not want a email to be published then please state this clearly on the letter. Hopefully these problem letters can help other people out there that might be having the same problems with the opposite sex. Most problems can be talked through in our Member forums which are bustling with Mens-Network staff and fellow Mens-Network members who are more than willing to help you.

Dear Dudes,

I have this problem. I thought I would come to you for some advice. I don’t know what to do, but I know that I am in a strange situation. Sometimes I want to get out of it, but other times I find it to be a real turn on.I met her in a bar. I was new to the area and I went to this bar that was near my house. At the time I didn’t know it was a bar for bikers. I went in a few times and had a few drinks. I really liked it there. It was a manly type of place where I could blow off steam with other guys. I have never been around bikers, so this was a new experience for me. I have always liked motor cycles, but was afraid to ride one.

I met this nice looking girl and we started to date. She is the leather and Harley kind of woman. I kind of liked having her take me out for long rides on her bike. I have never done anything like this. At first all I was interested in was her lifestyle. I had no interested in her. One day we went to the bar and had a few drinks. She came back to my place and we had sex. Shortly after I moved out of my place and moved in with her. I really didn’t know her too well, but I was interested in her lifestyle.

I soon found out that she is the bad girl type. She smokes cigarettes all day long. She doesn’t wear panties. I thought I would dig a chick that doesn’t wear panties, but she gets a lot of yeast infections. She drinks hard liquor all the time. She has an anger level so low, she will get pissed off if I look at her the wrong way. If she was a man, some guys would call her a tough ass. She won’t take shit from no one. She tells me when and what to cook. She tells me when I need to clean the house. I am her slave.

I don’t mind that stuff that much dudes, I really don’t. What bothers me is how she acts in public. She acts like a total guy. I mean we will go over to my parents house for dinner and she will burp while she eats. One time we were in a fancy restaurant and she let out a big wet fart in front of everyone. It was so bad, there was a wet spot in her pants. I was so embarrassed that I asked for a doggie bag so I could eat the rest of my meal at home.

What should I do?

Signed, ‘Stupid Fool’ (That is what you get for signing with your real name!)

I think what you have is a strong case of the bad girl syndrome. Yes folks, we all will get turned on by a woman like this some time in our lives. Usually we get turned on by that tom boy in school and it doesn’t go any further than that. I guess its like getting the chicken pox, it is best to get it while you are young. There isn’t much you can do with these types of women. Uusally if you say too much to them they will leave you. You need to decide how much you can take.

If you can’t take any more of this, you need to leave. I know that some men find it kinky to be with a bad girl. They like it when a woman tells them what to do. I’m sure some men would love your woman, yeast infections and all. I’m not much into this myself. I like you, find the motor cycle lifestyle to be interesting, but not worth per suing. I don’t think I would last ten minutes on a motor cycle or on your girlfriend.

There isn’t a whole lot I can tell you that you don’t already know. I think you know what you want to do, but you don’t have the balls to do it. Maybe that is why you got involved with a woman like this. You don’t know what you want in life, so you want someone who will tell you what you want. There isn’t much of a chance you will be able to talk much sense into a woman like this. She will be stuck in her ways and nothing is going to change you. You can try though. It doesn’t hurt, unless you know she is going to bitch slap you if you piss her off. I would tell her that you need some room and you don’t like being told what to do all the time.

If this doesn’t work, then I would leave. There is no reason to put up with this sort of thing. Chances are she is taking out her problems on you. You can’t be a punching bag all your life. Chances are if you split, then someone will fill your place. Let some other guy put up with her stuff.

All the things that have been said so far are about how you can create a favorable impression. There is something that is equally or even more important than that, and that is to make the other person feel comfortable. Help the other person relax.

Any way you have been chatting for quite some time so you do know a great deal about each other. The best thing you can do is to ease the tension and break the ice. Sometimes the ice gets so thick that you can literally feel it. Break it up by cracking a joke or two.

But the joke should be spontaneous and in keeping with the situation or else it will fall flat. Do not rehearse a joke because a rehearsed joke sounds…well…rehearsed.

The key word here is charm. Use all the charm that you can muster. Try to be as considerate and as thoughtful as possible. Do not dominate the conversation but try to get the other person talking. People generally love to talk about themselves so try to get the other person talking by asking about the person’s work. Show interest in whatever the other person says.

Try to be a good conversationalist. A good conversationalist is not a person who talks well, but is one who listens well as well. So try to be a good listener. And while you are listening try not to get distracted by something else or the other person might feel that you are losing interest in what he or she is saying.

Then comes the question, “what do you do if you find that the other person is dominating the conversation?”

Well, in that case listen patiently for a minute or two and then give a subtle sign like a raised eyebrow or a smile through the corner of your mouth. If the other person is intelligent enough, he or she will get the cue. If not, then take your chance, you might have to listen to this person for the rest of your life.

Humor rarely fails. But again take care not to over do it. There is only one thing worse than a total lack of humor and that is too much humor.

When you are dating online, you have a lot of things to your advantage. For example, the other person does not really see you and you do not really have to bother about appearances. You can devote your entire energy towards sounding intelligent and witty.

But when you are actually seated in front of a person, there are a thousand things that you have to pay attention to. There are many people who believe that it is not really important to keep up appearances. They feel that it is more important to be oneself.

It sounds good enough. But on your first date at least you certainly have to keep up appearances. The other person should not feel ashamed to be seen around with you and so you should try as hard as possible to avoid that faux pas.

Let us start with your physical appearance. While I did mention earlier that you do not have to be dressed to kill, it is very important that you have to appear well groomed. Take special care about things like nails, hair, and teeth. Check for bad breath too because that indeed is the worst turn off.

What you wear should not be loud and attract the wrong kind of attention. Choose something that you are comfortable in and at the same time that looks good on you. Ladies, please be careful about your make-up, and remember that make-up is meant to accentuate your looks not to hide it. It is best to avoid garish colors.

You should smell good of course but don’t over do it. We certainly don’t want you to remain in the other person’s memory as just one strong smell. Men, please take care to go in for masculine scents like musk, or smells from nature. Women, keep it as light and dainty as possible.