Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus
Mar.11, 2010 in
Dating Books
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March 11th, 2010 at 12:35 pm
This book gives an overview of the college social structure that exists and specifically, the opportunities collegians have for sexual and dating relationships. While informative and highly anecdotal, the information is repetitive and could be much more concise. Recommended for those about to enter the college scene, either as students or parents, and to administrators looking to understand the dominant culture today.
Rating: 3 / 5
March 11th, 2010 at 12:38 pm
I wrote a paper on this topic for Human Sexuality class in 2003. I got an A.
no mention of the numerous non face to face conversations that must occur before students strange to each other actually meet. what about girls that collect phone numbers just to brag? or girls that hand out fake numbers?
I found this book to be a boring and inaccurate account. Some quotes from students were amusing but in general the author did a very poor job of tackling a straight-forward topic. If she hadn’t claimed to be enrolled in college in the early 1990’s, I would have guessed that she is a baby boomer as her opinions and data collection methods were very prejudicial preventing her from really understanding. I think she was perpetually in shock while collecting the data because things have changed and she just couldn’t relate. She would have made a good U. S. Senator when President Clinton was being hounded about Monica Lewinsky. Yeah. . . That bad. Seriously.
Good things about this book are 1) the author references a few pertinent national statistics, 2) the author provides step by step directions for planning your own hookups (although you have to hunt n peck for them) and 3) the author sampled data from two universities: one public, one religious.
Bad things unfortunate are 1) data collection from two white schools hardly speaks for the many campuses across the nation. Clearly she ignored latino, black n asian students and she assumed social mores are consistent across white schools. I’m in sunny Cali n believe you me from her perspective things are a lot lot worse over here. Also if she cross referenced the data with the rate of teenage pregnancies or abortions or young marriages in the state, it might be more helpful. 2) the statistics cited were incomplete and misleading. She compares WWII to 1950s-1960s and then to 2000s. ie. nothing useful came out of the 70’s, 80’s or 90’s apparently. Feminism and the divorce rate didn’t influence anything. Women working, corporate downsizing and globalization meant nothing apparently. ie. Mom and Dad shopping for their own new mates that continuously change didn’t influence their children’s decisions. 3) she claims most students lose their virginity at age 17 (before college), but insists they are too immature to act responsibly when actually in college. Despite data showing girls apparently trying very hard to be noticed sexually via dress code and behavior and actively sleeping around by choice because they think it is fun, they enjoy playing the field and probably most importantly they don’t want to get serious about relationships until much later after college because they just don’t have to, she concludes that they don’t know what they are doing, it’s all the boys’ fault because they are pigs and then restricts supporting interviews to the few catholic college students she could found that answered her leading questions correctly. ie. how many guys can a girl hook up with from the same fraternity before they call her a slut? Apparently girls that enjoy sex are odd. Girls that play the field are odd. Girls that utilise the fraternity system with 10-30 houses on campus but restrict themselves to hitting on guys at only one house are not responsible for their decisions. Guys that date girls that don’t sleep around are not worth interviewing. Guys that prefer dating to hooking up are not worth interviewing. Girls that hookup often are not worth interviewing. 4) no discussion about concerns for pregnancy or STDs. Why wouldn’t you interview about that? 5) alcohol is mentioned a plenty but where are the drugs? so many references to students just going down to the bar. Are they freshman? who is providing the alcohol? why aren’t they using drugs? parties without drugs? Really? 6) if the boys just want to hang out together without girls or without relationships, she feels they are evil instead of suggesting the girls mature to the point where they can do the same. Apparently males exist solely to become Ken dolls. If girls hate playing sports, video games or downloading porn that much, they could go shopping together or watch tv but no. There is no discussion about free time activities and only catholic girls that discuss getting married endlessly are worth interviewing. Do women still attend college to drop out and make babies? Really? 7) college students communicate in numerous ways: chat, email, phone text, cell, social networking sites, through friends or face to face, yet no focus on that at all. If half of the dating ritual revolves around communication, aren’t these valid methods?
In summary, the data is there but it is filtered by a grandma desperate to relate it to her parents experiences. It’s an equal playing field out there. Believe me. I’m curious if the study was underwritten by the Catholic Church. That whole ‘walk of shame’ spew regarding the morning after sex clashes dramatically with the modern reality as portrayed by Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex In The City. And you know how popular that series is with girls.
Rating: 1 / 5
March 11th, 2010 at 2:28 pm
A Review of Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus
An assertion of this book is that dating is disappearing. So now parents don’t have to think about their older children getting into casual sexual relations. Wrong, suggests the author.
With dating, males make significant efforts; gather money, transportation, etc to make a date possible. Dating was a test of a male’s ability to manage resources. This was true in colleges where males were a majority during the 20th century.
Males are in the minority in colleges in the 21st century; 40% to 60% females, typically. Males are “scarcer” and no longer have an edge in jobs as they used to. Male resources are no longer larger than those of the females.
These conditions have led to less dating and now females often have to now seek out a male if they want a relationship with one. Also, males “pick and choose” more often than they ever did in the past. Even if a female might want to see the same male repeatedly, the male is freer than ever to opt out. Instead, the male can opt for brief sexual encounters with different females.
Hence, we have the “hook-up. ” This serious sounding term is actually vague as it can mean getting together for just kissing and necking or it can mean sexual intercourse. It is not a repeated relationship with the same person. In fact, some females might wind up waiting for a “call” to “come over” and “hook up,” with just a simple text message.
This situation is gloomy for a female looking for a marriage mate. Options seem few. The writer of this review suspects that females asking males out on dates might be an effective option.
The author of this book uses stories of people that she has interviewed to describe details without elaborate statistics. She also describes her methods of getting students to “tell all,” interesting to people doing surveys. Overall, the book is good for keeping up with the Gen Y culture. . .
Rating: 5 / 5
March 11th, 2010 at 5:14 pm
Dear Sir,
I am very happy with this book. Information is very good and to the point.
It is a very good idea for parents with growing-up teeners to have and read this book. I think it is good for everyone to read this book. It is very interesting and can surely contribute in our overall education.
It would be a great idea that teachers, students, parents and future parents read and discuss the important topics being explained in this
book.
It’s a very good and intresting book.
Kind regards,
Marcial Ignacio
Rating: 5 / 5
March 11th, 2010 at 5:21 pm
EVERY college student should this book, even if you are not a part of the hook-up culture. This book is very, very interesting and honest. Bogle is one of the few people to do research on hooking up on campus and her method of approach was really effective and intriguing. Bogle interviewed students from a large state college and a private univeristy on the college hook up culture and dating scene. She includes snippets of her interviews throughout the book, making it a really great page-turner. The answers are so interesting, proving that Bogle is an excellent researcher and interviewer.
I came across Bogle’s book while I was doing some researching for an article on drunk text messaging. I even got the chance to speak with her about the college hook-up scene. If anything is for sure, this woman is brilliant and knows exactly what she is talking about!! I would highly recommend this book to anyone but I especially college students who might need some perspective on their own relationships.
Rating: 5 / 5