But I Love Him: Protecting Your Teen Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationships
Dec.13, 2009 in
Dating Books
Product DescriptionOne in three girls will be in a controlling, abusive dating relationship before she graduates from high school–from verbal or emotional abuse to sexual abuse or physical battering. Is your daughter in danger?Dr. Jill Murray speaks on the topic of dating violence at high schools around the country, reaching more than 10,000 students, teachers, and counselors each year. In every school she visits, she is approached by teenage girls in miserable relationships w. . . More >>
But I Love Him: Protecting Your Teen Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationships
December 13th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
A bit of a long-winded essay on misandry. The author’s tone often borders on hysteria. Real solutions are not really offered (unless you consider draconian measures which are not far from child-abuse, in my opinion). This is not a book for a parent who is looking to prevent these tragedies for her daughter in the distant future (as is my case). It does not provide measured, sober, long-term preventive means to build up your daughter’s self-esteem to stop this from happening. On the contrary, it seems to be written for the parent who is in the middle of this drama, who considers his or her daughter to be mentally unfit, and has no problem stating this to the daughter — loud and clear (how this is supposed to boost her self-esteem is beyond me). It is the book of a frantic parent who is prepared to sieze the jawbone of an ass and slaughter thousands to protect their daughter. I’m sure I would react the same way in that situation. . . but I am not now in that situation, so this book was not really writtenf or me.
Rating: 3 / 5
December 13th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
What a wonderful book – it is so easy to fall into an abusive relationship. We need all the help we can get to protect our daugthers. Not only do we need to protect daugthers from abusive relationships, we also need to show and teach them how to love themselves. In Creating Extraordinary Joy, Chris Alexander show us how to love ourselves and others. – Thanks, Chris and Jim.
Rating: 5 / 5
December 13th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
As a counsellor in domestic violence and human behaviour, so often I have heard the words, “If only I had done (or not done) . . . . he would never have hit me,” or “He only pushed me, but he loves me and promised he would never do it again. ” Abuse is not about love; it is about control, and without extensive therapy for emotional issues that cause the abuser to abuse (quite often the abuser was himself a victim of abuse), the problem is not going to get better, it is not going to go away – it will, in all probability, escalate to greater heights as time goes on. The book points out many of the danger signals, and examines the various types of abuse: physical, verbal, emotional and sexual. The author also talks about the healing process for those who have been abused. When you stop to ponder the issue that one in three girls will be in a controlling, manipulative or abusive realtionship of some nature before they graduate from high school, it is enough to put both parents and teen-aged daughters on their guard. The aftermath of long-term abuse is devastating and horrendous beyond words; the emotional scars remain long after the physical wounds disappear. Quite often those scars never disappear and affect our self-image, our families and our future relationships. We have all heard that “love is blind” but there is also much truth to the statement that “there is none so blind as those who will not see. ” Denial is not always a wonderful thing. True love never physically hurts; it emotionally nurtures, heals and protects. As the reader will learn through the pages of this book, there are various kinds of love, but there is a huge difference between infatuation, addictive love and true lasting love. Teens, although they truly believe at the time they are madly “in love”, are quite often in love with the idea of being in love. Being young, they have not yet had the opportunities or experiences to distinguish the difference between first love and overactive hormones, and mature and lasting love. The author uses real-life examples to drive her point home; they are true stories that go on in some part of the country, every minute of every hour of every day. If this book helps only one young woman (and there are bound to be many more) then the author may not only have prevented a tragedy, but perhaps saved a human life. This is highly recommended reading material and worth a universe of stars! Hats off to Jill Murray for telling it like it is.
Rating: 5 / 5
December 13th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
Although the book does a good job in describing an abusive teenage relationship, she gives almost no adivce to parents except those who are in abusive relationships themselves. I thought this book would have helpful ideas in how to deal with this situation when it comes into your family but all it does is insult the parent in the end.
Rating: 1 / 5
December 13th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
I bought this book for myself just to keep informed about teens’ issues. My daughter, then 13, saw the book and began devouring it and analyzing her relationships. She made immediate changes in one friendship, deciding that she shouldn’t put up with being hit or belittled anymore. Now, a year later, she is buying the book for a friend who accepts controlling behavior from her boyfriend.
Rating: 5 / 5